Can I Help You with Your Cheap Shit?

As I said in a previous post, I’m not salesy and I think it’s because I don’t like being sold.  My attitude has always been, if I want something, I’ll buy it.  If you need to convince me, then I didn’t actually want it.  You’re going to sell me by making a great product and being transparent about it.  I never really y understood Marshall McLuhans “The medium is the message.”  But I would say “The product is the sales pitch.”

Welcome to Shitty E-Bike, can I take your order prease?

(My take as a real estate agent has been that I’m not here to convince you to buy anything, I’m here to help you through the process.  I can highlight why I think a home is or isn’t a good fit, but ultimately that’s up to you.  I can help you navigate the market itself and put together a compelling offer end ensure you’re not being taken advantage of.  That’s it.  What I have to sell is myself.  And if I have to convince you to work with me, there’s a good chance that neither of us will be happy.)

On top of that I believe in our current society there is such a thing as customer fatigue.  Everywhere you look, someone is trying to sell me something or get something out of me and its all so tiresome.  If whatever product or service you are offering, if it’s good and desired, people will buy it.  If you have to actively convince and have 16 touch points and follow ups, maybe the product isn’t that good.

I’m not on many social media sites, but I am on Instagram.  There’s a good chance that’s how you got to this article.  But Instagram sucks now.  It’s not a social media site, it’s a sales platform.  It used to be sharing photos with friends,  Now it’s covert and overt advertising.  It’s about influencing people and creating content.  People use those words and I don’t think they understand what they mean.  Others are trying to influence you to their own agenda.  People and business and fucking robots now are are creating content where the whole purpose is not to benefit you, it’s to get your attention to benefit the content creator.  The focus is not what they can offer, the primary focus is what they can get.

Combine that with the infinity junk emails, ads on nearly every kind of streaming service.  Even personalities who’s content I appreciate are trying to get me to buy shit from all directions.  I’m listening to a podcast.  She takes a break for her own plugs.  The stream itself is interrupted for YouTube advertisements.  Everywhere you look, some one wants something from you.  Your money, your attention, your email address.

Even people that create decent content do this.  And to some degree I get it, everyone needs to eat. It just seems so relentless.  I’m not going to comment “I’m retarded” on your post so you can DM some bullshit PDF that if I actually wanted I’m sure I could find through google.  The point is not the PDF, it’s you boosting their post.  I’m not paying $75 for Sol Brahs cookbook that tells me to google a recipe.

But the extractive thing irks me.  It feels like these people are not confident in their own content  or product to bring them whatever they need.  They can’t give anything away for free.  “But I do give stuff away, look at my marketing emails and instagram posts.”  Ok, maybe.  But even then I get the sense that so much is automated and outsourced.  Especially as followings grow.

Like what’s the difference if you’re sending your marketing email to 10 people or 10000000 people.  Is the email not the same?  Why does having a larger audience require a marketing team?  I get that there are probably more responses that require attention.  But it seems like once a person or company gets large enough, they sell out.  And that’s even a business model.  Get a bunch of clients and then sell them to Unilever or whatever.

Customer fatigue.  If you want to avoid ads, sometimes you can pay to get out of it.  Apple Music, Netflix (I’m assuming there are no ads).  But if something is free you are the product.  Your attention, your data, your habits are being sold.  All while you’re being bombarded with cheap shit you don’t even need.

I’m going to be clear I’m not a communist.  I am a capitalist. But I don’t think this is capitalism.  Or maybe it’s retarded capitalism because most people don’t know any better and given in to it.  I need to buy this new cheap shit from China made in an unregulated polluting factory with lead paint because XYZ celebrity told me to!  Companies make products for the sake of making products.  Not because they solve a problem, not because they benefit the consumer.  Then they make an ad, trying to convince you it solves a problem you didn’t even know you had.  Lane keep assist?  What the fuck even is that.  Don’t you know how to drive?  I’m trying to look at the road and my surroundings I don’t need distracting lights and dings.  Nobody asked for that.

My two favorite radio stations are MIT and Emerson.  Amazing variety and great music and no ads!  Except during fundraising.  And I appreciate that more because it’s direct.  I listen to the station and they are asking me for money.  They’re not taking money from third world conglomerate to push some crappy product I don’t need or even want.

As a side note, I find algorithm advertising particularly funny.  I wanted to buy a suitcase.  I was looking online for well made suitcases.  I have a carry on Rimowa and it’s been great.  Tossed around like no other and its still holding up 12 years later.  Looking at the Rimowa site at check in bags, checking dimensions and such.  I went to the store to look in person.  I bought the one I wanted.  From that day on, for weeks every single fucking ad was for a suitcase.  Away, Monos, some Frederick something.  Guys, you’re wasting your ad spend.  I already bought a suitcase.  I’m not in the market.  If anything you’re turning me off.  As for the Rimowa, it feels cheaper than my old and less well made.  Turns out since my original they sold out to LVMH.  They do, however, now offer a lifetime warranty so whatever.

An aside to the side not. There’s a Monos store on Newbury Street.  They have a sandwich board sign out front (NOT allowed by zoning code BTW) and it’s a G wagon with a few suitcases in front.  Are you kidding me?  I looked online after seeing that and they aren’t even that expensive.  Equating a $500 suitcase with a $200,000 car.  I say $200,000 car because I can’t remember the last time I saw a basic G550.  There are only G63s around.  So what, you’re supposed to feel like you bought a nearly quarter million dollar car because you bought a plastic suitcase?  Would someone who owns a quarter million dollar car buy a $500 plastic suitcase? This associative advertising just seems lazy.

And don’t get me started on the ”Old Money Aesthetic.”  I’ve gotten two ads for separate companies advertising their hair gel to give you that “old money hair.”  What the fuck is old money hair?  Part of me thinking this “quiet luxury” “old money” tack is because people can’t afford flashy logos anymore.  You know, with the whole wealth disparity thing.  People that actually have money either don’t have anything to prove or they intentionally avoid displays of wealth, you know, because it’s distasteful.  And the middle class who would buy that shit to associate with the upper-class, is dwindling.  My freshman year history teacher said what prevents revolutions is the middle class associating themselves with the upper class.  Where does that leave us now?

If someone could define “Old Money Hair,” that would be great.

I’ve gotten a little off track but I want to end this on a more positive note.  My experience is that great products or services are developed when the person who needs it, creates it for themselves.  They know exactly the purpose it serves and the most efficient and sustainable way to carry it out.

I wrote this post a few days ago and this morning I got an email from Rhizal.  They make grounded shoes.  I’ve never bought their shoes.  But I understood this email.  I hope it’s accurate and true, otherwise I got hoodwinked and this is just another form of marketing.  Because I ordered a pair of their shoes LOL.  They got me.  Reached right into my heart and took my wallet.

The title is from a Chris Rock stand up routine where he goes on about every town has two malls, the white mall, and the mall white people used to go to.  You walk into the black mall and its just a 15 story Woolworths with personal shoppers, “can I help you with your cheap shit?”